


Sacrifice & Miracle

by sartiebodyshots



Series: December Prompts [28]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, Gen, Hawke in the Fade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-12 20:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9089806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sartiebodyshots/pseuds/sartiebodyshots
Summary: Hawke takes the choice about who stays in the Fade behind out of the Inquisitor's hands.





	1. Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a December prompts challenge! Happy Holidays!

Hawke hadn't wanted Carver to go to the Inquisition.  It was an organization large enough to attract all kinds of trouble, and Hawke prefers it when Carver sticks to cutting down darkspawn.  But Carver could never be dissuaded from his duty, and Hawke can't be dissuaded from watching over her little brother.  At least not under such dire circumstances.  

And so Hawke faces down Nightmare with Carver at her side.  

“I'll stay!” Carver yells when it becomes clear they won't both be escaping.  “A Warden’s life is sacrifice!”

“Shove it,” Hawke yells back, sizing up the beast.  “You're getting out of here.  That's final.”

“You're not in charge, sister,” Carver argues.  

“I'm still your sister,” Hawke retorts.  

“Inquisitor!  Get her out of here,” Carver says.  

“If you take me out of here without my brother, I will destroy your Inquisition,” Hawke threatens.   

“That'll mean the end of the world,” Adaar interjects.  

Hawke takes the time to make calm, sincere eye contact.  The Inquisitor seems like a good, self sacrificing woman who has never had a selfish thought in her life, so Hawke wants to make sure that she understands how serious she is.  

“I won’t care.”

She was all ready to shove Cullen off a balcony once they got back anyway, for what he did in Kirkwall.  Might as well shove the rest of the world with him, if Carver is dead. 

“Jaina!” Carver protests as Adaar nods a little in understanding.  

“Carver, come on,” Adaar says.  “We’re going.”

Carver sets his jaw, blinking rapidly.  “Jaina…”

Jaina squeezes his arm.  “I love you.  Tell Isabela I’m so sorry.”

She had promised that she would come back to Isabela, so they could keep raiding the seas together.  She had wanted to explore the world with her love more than anything.  

“I will.  And Jaina…” Carver says.  

“I know.  It’s okay.  Me too,” Hawke says, turning towards the demon.  “Now get out of here.”

Hawke plunges towards the demon without a second thought.  She has to make sure Carver gets out of here.  She failed Bethany and Mother.  She won’t fail Carver.  

* * *

The first thing that Carver sees when he falls out of the Fade is Varric.  Of course, of course.  He’s still in shock, and he doesn’t hear what Varric says when his mouth moves.  

“C’mon, Junior.  Where’s Hawke?” Varric says, and it finally gets through.

“She’s gone, Varric.  My sister’s gone,” Carver says.  

Varric’s eyes widen.  “That’s…” He sighs and turns away.  “ _ Hawke _ .”

“Yeah,” Carver says.

Inquisitor Adaar has performed some other miracle behind him and is making some sort of speech, but Carver can’t bring himself to care.  He just follows Varric.

* * *

“I wanted to save her,” Carver says, sitting in Varric’s room.  

“It’s not your fault, Junior,” Varric says.  

“She threatened to destroy the Inquisition if the Inquisitor didn’t take me out of there.  She was serious, too,” Carver says.

Varric chuckles somberly.  “Sounds like her.  There are maybe six people in Thedas that Hawke cares for.  She would do anything for us, and very little for anyone else.”

“I should tell Isabela.  I should be the one,” Carver says, rubbing his temple.  “I don’t know how to tell her.”

“Say it plain,” Varric advises.  “Tell her what happened, but don’t dress it up.”

Carver nods mechanically.  

“If you want to come back to Skyhold for a little while, that’d be okay,” Varric says.  

“I can’t.  But thank you,” Carver says.  “I think… I think I need to be alone now.  I’ll see you before I leave.”

“It’s not your fault,” Varric repeats as Carver gets to his feet.  

Carver doesn’t have anything to say to that.  He walks around Adamant blindly, ignoring the celebratory cheers from the Inquisition forces.  

_ His family is dead his family is dead his entire family is dead.   _

There had been so much that he had wanted Hawke to do for him: most prominently, stay out of his way.  But not this.  Never this.


	2. Miracle

Isabela docks at Treviso, full of anticipation.  She and Hawke arranged to meet here when her business with Carver and the Wardens was done.  Part of Isabela had wanted to go with her, but she knows that Hawke likes spending time with her brother alone.  

And parting means reunion sex, which is something to look forward to.  

But when she sees Carver sitting in her and Hawke’s favorite inn, alone, her heart stops.  This can’t be happening.  She wants to bolt, but she forces herself to sit down and listen as Carver tells her about what happened at Adamant.

* * *

Isabela’s not sure why she feels the impulse to go to Adamant, to see where her love disappeared into the Fade forever, but she listens to it.  She sails her ship to Val Royeaux and from there buys a horse.  Her mind is surprisingly blank as she rides.  All she can focus is the road ahead of her; maybe if she rides fast enough, she can outrun her looming grief.

When she sleeps at night, she sees Hawke in her dreams.  She thinks she’s a demon at first- Hawke told her all about what a demon can do.  Take the shape of a loved one to lure unsuspecting folks in.  But the demon doesn’t try to seduce her or say anything.  She just watches, brow furrowed.  

Isabela tries not to think about it during the day.

There are Inquisition forces at Adamant when she arrives.  At least it means there’s a place to get water and a place to get food.  She’s not even really sure why she’s here, so far away from the sea that she loves.  It’s not like there’s anything to see.  The Inquisitor closed the Rift.  There’s no body to lay to rest.  There’s just emptiness.

Wandering around the place, wide eyed and feeling empty, Isabela realizes that Hawke is gone.  She’s gone and Isabela will never see her again.  At least it’s night, so it’s easy enough for Isabela to dart into a private corner and cry.  

The tears come slow at first, but as she thinks about it and it becomes reality, they come faster.  Looking back, Isabela made so many mistakes.  She spent three whole years running from her feelings when she knows that Hawke would’ve gladly spent them together.  Even when she came back, she had danced around her feelings, expecting rejection after her three years away.  That’s time that they’ll never get to have together.  If she had just stayed, she would’ve nearly doubled the time they had.

Now, it’s all gone.  Everything that they might’ve become is gone.  All because Hawke was in the Fade with one of the few people she would give her life for.  The knowledge that Hawke is probably being tormented by the blasted thing only makes it worse.  

Finally, there’s nothing for her to do other than go to sleep.  She drags herself to her rented bed and falls in.  It takes ages to actually fall asleep. 

Seeing Hawke in her dreams just hurts, even though she knows it’s fake.  Hawke must be here somewhere, but Isabela doesn’t have the knowledge to find her.  She doesn’t even know what there might be left to find.  

This night, Hawke is screaming at her.  In anger, in desperation, Isabela can’t tell.  Probably anger, knowing Hawke.  The woman was full of tired anger.  

Isabela bolts upright, not sure why she’s suddenly awake.  She’s exhausted, but her heart is pounding.  

It takes a minute, but she realizes that there’s a commotion outside.  Curious, she gets to her feet and stumbles towards the door to her room.  

When she sees the Fade tear, now a fairly common sight across Thedas, her heart leaps into her throat.  She doesn’t hesitate, grabbing her daggers and running out of her room.  

“You can’t get closer,” some soldier says as she approaches, grabbing her arm.

“Hands off me,” Isabela says, yanking her arm out of his grasp.

An unholy screech emanates from the new Fade tear before a body flies out, landing on the ground with a sickening thud.  The body almost seems to smoke as it lays there, everyone giving it a wide berth.

Isabela pushes herself forward, falling to her knees.  She turns the body over and inhales sharply when she sees the familiar face.  Her Hawke.  Her bloody stupid Hawke.  Not in the Fade.  Here.  With her.

Bright violet eyes flutter open and Hawke coughs, a music more beautiful than anything else Isabela has heard.  She’s laid out flat on her back hacking and shaking uncontrollably.  

Isabela calls for water, and some kind soul hands her a canteen.  She helps Hawke sit up and take a few sips when the coughing dies down.  

“Carver?” Hawke says in a pained voice, still shaking.

“He made it,” Isabela assures her.  “He came to find me, to tell me.  I saw him myself.”

“Good.  Then I won’t have to kill the Inquisitor,” Hawke says.  She reaches up to grab her wrist.  “I missed you, Isabela.”

Isabela blinks away her sudden burst of tears.  “I missed you too.”

Hawke looks around, and Isabela is suddenly aware of all the people around them.  “I got myself in another mess.”

“Yeah, I know.  You’re not doing that without me again,” Isabela says.  She gathers her strength and gets to her feet, Hawke cuddled in her arms.  Her girlfriend has lost a lot of weight since they were last together.  “No more running off.”

“Okay,” Hawke says, resting her head on Isabela’s shoulder.  “Okay.  Came back for you anyway.”

“Good,” Isabela says and kisses the top of her head as she elbows through the crowd.

They reach her room, and Isabela gently lays her on her bed.  Hawke stares up at her blankly.  She’s still shaking and is scarily pale, which makes the tattoo on her face stand out more starkly than usual.  

Despite everything she’s seen Hawke through, she’s never seen Hawke like this.

“I should get someone to look at you,” Isabela says.  

“No.  I just want you.”

Isabela lays down with her until the shaking stops, and long past that.


End file.
